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Einsam steh ich, vom Wind gezerrt, Ungeliebt und verlassen In der feindlichen Nacht. Schwer ist mein Gemüt und voll Bitterkeit, Wenn ich Deiner gedenke, Blinder Gott, der voll Grausamkeit Immer das Unbegreifliche tut. Warum lässest Du, wenn Du die Macht hast, Warum lässest Du Hunde und Säue Eines Glückes genießen, das nie Dem verschmachtenden Edleren wird? Warum peitschest Du mich, der Dich liebte, Jagst mich allein durch die Nacht, Warum raubst Du mir alles, Was Du doch jedem Erbärmlichen gönnst? Selten hab ich geklagt, und seltner Dir im Unmut geflucht, Jahrelang in gläubiger Priesterschaft Lebte ich Dir, nannte Dich Herr und Gott, Sah in Dir meines Daseins Krone und Sinn; Immer ging ich, ob auch im Dunkeln oft, Tastend dem Guten nach, immer war Liebe, Immer Güte und Reinheit mein hohes Ziel. Dennoch hast Du, der meinen Feinden schmeichelt, Niemals mir einen einzigen Traum, Eine einzige Bitte erfüllt! Niemals kannt ich andres als Kampf und Arbeit, Während drüben im Hause der Fröhlichen Laute und Tanz und süßer Gesang erscholl. O und wie hast Du, mein Peiniger, Wenn ich einmal in blinder Hoffnung Zärtlicher Liebe mein Herz voll Vertrauen bot, Wie hast Du mit Spott und Verachtung mich überschüttet, Daß ich grimmig entfloh, vom Gelächter der Frauen verfolgt! Einsam nun und ohne Glauben an Glück Schlaflos bei Nacht und am Tage des Zweifels Raub Geh ich gottlos durch diese Welt, Mir zur Qual und Dir zu trauriger Schande. Trotzdem, o Gott, wenn auch Dein Finger tief Und voll blinder Wollust in meiner Wunde wühlt, Trotzdem sollst Du mich nicht verzagen, Nicht im Staube knieen und weinen sehn. Denn Dein heimlichster Wunsch, Grausamer, Tönt ja doch unbesiegbar im Herzen mir, Und das Leben zu lieben, Und das sinnlose Leben wild und sinnlos zu lieben Hab' ich in aller Verfolgung, Aller Versuchung niemals völlig verlernt. Dich sogar und Deine launischen Wege Liebt mein Herz, indem es Dich trotzend höhnt. Ja, ich liebe Dich, Gott, und ich liebe Heiß die verworrene Welt, die du schlecht regierst . . . Horch! Von drüben, wo die Fröhlichen sind, Weht mir Lied und Gelächter, Weiberschrei und silbernes Bechergeläut. Aber mit tieferer Wollust, Süßer und trunkener glüht als diesen Genügsamen Mir die Liebe zum Leben In der glücklos hungernden Brust. Und ich schüttle zornig Aus den schlaflosen Augen die Müdigkeit, Trinke Nacht und Wind, Sternschein und Wolkengebirg Gierig mit atmenden Sinnen In die unersättliche Seele ein.
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Confirmed with Hermann Hesse, Sämtliche Werke, herausgegeben von Volker Michels, Band 10 Die Gedichte, bearbeitet von Peter Huber, Frankfurt am Main: Suhrkamp Verlag, 2002, pages 208-209.
Authorship:
- by Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962), "Der Einsame an Gott", written 1914 [author's text checked 1 time against a primary source]
Musical settings (art songs, Lieder, mélodies, (etc.), choral pieces, and other vocal works set to this text), listed by composer (not necessarily exhaustive):
- by Karl Franz Schwarz , "Der Einsame an Gott", 1948 [ voice and piano (or orchestra?) ], from Musik des Einsamen, no. 1 [sung text checked 1 time]
- by Paul Strüver , "Gericht über Gott - Eine dramatische Kantate nach Bibelworten und der Dichtung "Der Einsame an Gott" von Hermann Hesse" [ SATB quartet, women's chorus, men's chorus, 2 orchestras, and organ ] [sung text checked 1 time]
Available translations, adaptations or excerpts, and transliterations (if applicable):
- CAT Catalan (Català) (Salvador Pila) , copyright © 2023, (re)printed on this website with kind permission
- ENG English (Sharon Krebs) , "The lonely man addressing God", copyright © 2014, (re)printed on this website with kind permission
Researcher for this page: Sharon Krebs [Guest Editor]
This text was added to the website: 2014-07-09
Line count: 64
Word count: 398
Solitary I stand, wrenched about by the wind, Unloved and forsaken In the hostile night. My spirit is heavy and full of bitterness When I think of you, Blind God, who full of cruelty Always does what is unfathomable. Why, if you have the power, do you permit, Why do you permit dogs and sows To enjoy a happiness that is never Granted to the more noble one who pines for it? Why do you whip me, you loved you, [Why do you] chase me alone through the night, Why do you rob me of everything That you do not begrudge to each deplorable one? Seldom have I complained, and even less often Cursed you in resentment, For years in devout priesthood I lived for you, called you Lord and God, Saw in you the crown and reason for my existence; Always I went, albeit often in darkness, Feeling my way toward goodness, always was love, Always kindness and purity my highest goal. Nonetheless you, who flatter my enemies, Have never fulfilled a single one of my dreams, Never granted a single one of my petitions! I never knew anything but struggle and work, While yonder in the house of the merry, Lutes and dances and sweet singing rang out. Oh how you, my tormentor, When I once in blind hoping, Full of gentle love, offered my heart full of trust, How you heaped derision and scorn upon me, So that I fled furiously, pursued by the laughter of women! Lonely now and without any belief in happiness, Sleepless by night and by day the prey of doubting, I walk godless through this world, To my torment, and to your sad disgrace. Despite that, oh God, though your finger deeply Burrows in my wound, full of blind relish, Despite that, you shall not see me despairing Not see me kneeling in the dust and weeping. For your most secret wish, cruel one, Yet sounds unconquerably in my heart, And to love life, Wildly and senselessly to love this senseless life, In all the persecution [I have suffered], In all the trying times, I have never completely unlearned. My heart loves even you and your capricious ways, While it defiantly scorns you. Yes, I love you, God, and I love Fervently the confused world, over which you reign badly . . . Listen! From yonder, where the happy ones are, Song and laughter wafts over toward me, Cries of women and silvery clinking of goblets. But with deeper ecstasy, Sweeter and more intoxicatingly than for these easily-satisfied ones Love for life Glows in my joyless, hungering breast. And angrily I shake Exhaustion from my sleepless eyes, I drink night and wind, starglow and mountainous clouds Greedily with breathing senses Into my insatiable soul.
Authorship:
- Translation from German (Deutsch) to English copyright © 2014 by Sharon Krebs, (re)printed on this website with kind permission. To reprint and distribute this author's work for concert programs, CD booklets, etc., you may ask the copyright-holder(s) directly or ask us; we are authorized to grant permission on their behalf. Please provide the translator's name when contacting us.
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Based on:
- a text in German (Deutsch) by Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962), "Der Einsame an Gott", written 1914
This text was added to the website: 2014-07-09
Line count: 64
Word count: 462