Twelve Wonders of the World

How many things as yet
  Are dear alike to me!
The field, the horse, the dog,
  Love, arms, or liberty.

I have no wife as yet
  That I may call mine own;
I have no children yet
  That by my name are known.

Yet, if I married were,
  I would not wish to thrive
If that I could not tame
  The veriest shrew alive.

The law my calling is;
  My robe, my tongue, my pen
Wealth and opinion gain
  And make me judge of men.

The known dishonest cause,
  I never did defend
Nor spun out suits in length,
  But wish’d and sought an end;

Nor counsel did bewray,
  Nor of both parties take,
Nor ever took I fee
  For which I never spake.

My calling is Divine,
  And I from God am sent;
I will no chop-church be,
  Nor pay my patron rent,

Nor yield to sacrilege;
  But like the kind true mother,
Rather will lose all the child
  Than part it with another.

Much wealth I will not seek,
  Nor worldly masters serve,
So to grow rich and fat
  While my poor flock doth starve.

The first of all our sex
  Came from the side of man,
I thither am return’d
  From whence our sex began.

I do not visit oft,
  Nor many when I do,
I tell my mind to few
  And that in counsel too.

I seem not sick in health,
  Nor sullen but in sorrow;
I care for somewhat else
  Than what to wear to-morrow.

I only am the man
  Among all married men
That do not wish the priest,
  To be unlinked again.

And though my shoe did wring
  I would not make my moan,
Nor think my neighbours’ chance
  More happy than mine own.

Yet court I not my wife,
  But yield observance due,
Being neither fond nor cross,
  Nor jealous nor untrue.

My trade doth everything
  To every land supply,
Discovers unknown coasts,
  Strange countries doth ally.

I never did forestall,
  I never did engross,
Nor custom did withdraw
  Though I return’d with loss.

I thrive by fair exchange,
  By selling and by buying,
And not by Jewish use,
  Reprisal, fraud, or lying.

My occupation is
  The noble trade of kings
The trial that decides
  The highest right of things.

Though Mars my master be,
  I do not Venus love,
Nor honour Bacchus oft,
  Nor often swear by Jove.

Of speaking of myself
  I all occasion shun,
And rather love to do,
  Than boast what I have done.

My dying husband knew
  How much his death would grieve me,
And therefore left me wealth
  To comfort and relieve me.

Though I no more will have,
  I must not love disdain;
Penelope her self
  Did suitors entertain.

And yet to draw on such
  As are of best esteem,
Nor younger than I am
  Nor richer will I seem.

I marriage would forswear,
  But that I hear men tell
That she that dies a maid
  Must lead an ape in hell.

Therefore, if fortune come,
  I will not mock and play
Nor drive the bargain on
  Till it be driven away.

Titles and lands I like,
  Yet rather fancy can
A man that wanteth gold
  Than gold that wants a man.

I study to uphold
  The slippery state of man,
Who dies when we have done
  The best and all we can.

From practice and from books
  I draw my learned skill,
Not from the known receipt
  Or ’pothecary’s bill.

The earth my faults doth hide,
  The world my cures doth see,
What youth and time effects
  Is oft ascribed to me.

Long have I lived in Court,
  Yet learned not all this while
To sell poor suiters smoke,
  Nor where I hate to smile;

Superiors to adore,
  Inferiors to despise,
To flie from such as fall,
  To follow such as rise:

To cloak a poor desire
  Under a rich array,
Nor to aspire by Vice,
  Though ’twere the quicker way.

Though strange outlandish spirits
  Praise towns and countries scorn,
The country is my home,
  I dwell where I was born.

There profit and command
  With pleasure I partake,
Yet do not hawks and dogs
  My sole companions make.

I rule, but not oppress;
  End quarrels, not maintain;
See towns, but dwell not there
  To abridge my charge or train.