Curious Calculations

The wisest old man that ever was known
In the famous Wiseacre nation,
Sat up all night, with his head in a sling,
To make this calculation:-
If Tom’s father was John’s son,
But John’s son hadn’t a father,
What would John’s son’s son have done,
If Tom’s son’s father wouldn’t rather?
He worked all night, and he worked all day,
Till he came to this conclusion,
That Tom’s son’s father’s father’s son
Was the cause of much confusion.

John was a bad boy, and beat a poor cat;
Tom put a stone in a blind man’s hat;
James was the boy who neglected his prayers;
They’ve all grown up ugly, and nobody cares.