A Live-Oak Growing

Not heat flames up and consumes,
Not sea-waves hurry in and out,
Not the air delicious and dry, the air of ripe summer, 
  bears lightly along white down-balls of myriads of seeds,
Wafted, sailing gracefully, to drop where they may;
Not these, O none of these more than the flames of me, 
  consuming, burning for his love whom I love,
O none more than I hurring in and out;
Does the tide hurry, seeking something, and never give up? O I the same,
O nor down-balls nor perfumes, nor the high rain-emitting clouds,
  are borne through the open air,
Any more than my soul is borne through the open air,
Wafted in all directions O love, for friendship, for you.

I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it, and the moss hung down from the branches;
Without any companion it grew there, uttering joyous leaves of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of myself;
But I wonder'd how it could utter joyous leaves, standing alone there, 
  without its friend, its lover near -- for I knew I could not;
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of leaves upon it, 
  and twined around it a little moss,
And brought it away -- and I have placed it in sight in my room;
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of them;)
Yet it remains to me a curious token -- it makes me think of manly love;
For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana,
  solitary, in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life, without a friend, a lover, near,
I know very well I could not.

What think you I take my pen in hand to record?
The battle-ship, perfect-model'd, majestic, 
  that I saw pass the offing to-day under full sail?
The splendors of the past day? or the splendor of the night that envelops me?
Or the vaunted glory and growth of the great city spread around me? -- no;
But merely of two simple men I saw to-day on the pier in the midst of the crowd,
  parting the parting of dear friends,
The one to remain hung on the other's neck and passionately kiss'd him,
While the one to depart tightly prest the one to remain in his arms.

When I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv'd 
  with plaudits in the capitol, still it was not a happy night for me that follow'd,
And else when I carous'd, or when my plans were accomplish'd, stil I was not happy,
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health, refresh'd, singing,
   inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the morning light,
When I wander'd alone over the beach, and undressing bathed,
  laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend my lover was on his way coming,
  O then I was happy,
O then each breath tasted sweeter, and all that day my food nourish'd me more,
  and the beautiful day pass'd well,
And the next came with equal joy, and with the next at evening came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll slowly
  continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands as directed to me
  whispering to congratulate me,
For the one I love most lay sleeping by me under the same cover in the cool night,
In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,
And his arm lay lightly around my breast -- and that night I was happy.

I dream'd in a dream I saw a city invincible to the attacks
  of the whole of the rest of the earth,
I dream'd that was the new City of Friends,
Nothing was greater there than the quality of robust love -- it led the rest,
It was seen every hour in the actions of the men of that city,
And in all their looks and words.

Long I thought that knowledge alone would suffice me --
  O if I could but obtain knowledge!
The my lands engrossed me -- Lands of the prairies, Ohio's land,
  the southern savannas, engrossed me -- For them I would live --
  I would be their orator;
Then I met the examples of old and new heroes -- I heard of warriors, 
  sailors, and all dauntless persons -- 
  And it seemed to me that I too had it in me to be as dauntless as any
  -- and would be so;
And then, to enclose all, it came to me to strike up the songs of the New World
  -- And then I believed my life must be spent in singing;
But now take notice, land of the prairies, land of the south savannas, Ohio's land,
Take notice, you Kanuck woods -- and you Lake Huron -- 
  and all that with you roll toward Niagara -- and you Niagara also,
And you, Californian mountains -- That you each and all find somebody else
  to be your singer of songs,
For I can be your singer of songs no longer -- One who loves me is jealous of me,
  and withdraws me from all but love,
With the rest I dispense -- I sever from what I thought would suffice me, 
  for it does not -- it is now empty and tasteless to me,
I heed knowledge, and the grandeur of The States, and the example of heroes, no more,
I am indifferent to my own songs -- I will go with him I love,
It is to be enough for us that we are together -- We will never separate again.

That shadow, my likeness, that goes to and fro, 
  seeking a livelihood, chattering, chaffering; 
How often I find myself standing and looking at it where it flits, 
How often I question and doubt whether that is really me; 
-- But  ...  among my lovers, and caroling these songs,
O I never doubt whether that is really me.