Oh! We're off to the fair now the lot of us together,
The yellow sunlight ev'rywhere - sure that's the lovely weather!
And amn't I six foot high today with pride and joy of heart,
The way I'm driving to the fair in a fine new ass-and-cart?

The pigs are screeching merrily at all the jolts and lurches,
The wonder of the world we are from here until the Churches;
And the speckly hen, poor decent bird, has lost her wits with scare,
It's well you know the noise she makes that we're going to the fair.

The quality will stare when they see the way we're driving,
The polis stand in wonderment to watch the cart arriving;
And the people that's stravagin' about the market square
Will be kilt with envy when ourselves come driving to the fair.

But the best time of all is the time the evening closes,
With a wind blowing from the south is sweet with wild hedge roses.
And we're counting out our money and proud and glad of heart
The way we're driving home again in our fine new ass-and-cart.