Five Advertising Songs

by Nicolas Slonimsky (1894 - 1995)

1. Children Cry for Castoria

Language: English 
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2. Pillsbury Bran Muffins
 (Sung text)

Language: English 
-- and then her doctor told her;
For some time she had not been herself...
She was run-down, languid, 
Tired each day before her work began.

One day she called on her doctor;
He advised to eat bran muffins,
made according to Pillsbury's recipe.
Pillsbury's marvelous natural laxative.

He knew the underlying cause of her trouble;
It was a result of faulty elimination.
He also knew she would enjoy the bran muffins.
The bran muffins -- there is health and delight in every bite!
And thus her doctor told her. --

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Researcher for this text: Emily Ezust [Administrator]

3. Make this a day of Plurodent
 (Sung text)

Language: English 
Make this a day you never will forget.
And celebrate a great event!
A brand new toothpaste has been created.
Its glorious name is Plurodent!
Film on your teeth
ferments and forms an acid.
That vicious film that clings to teeth.
Use Plurodent, the dentists all advise it.
And watch its wondrous natural effects!
See how your teeth become so white and shiny.
See how your mouth enjoys a new delight!
Make this a day, you never forget it!
Make this a day of Plurodent!

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Note: an alternative version uses the name "Pepsodent" : 

Make this a day you never will forget,
Here is your chance, ask for this test.
A new-type toothpaste has been created,
The name of it is "Pepsodent"!

It means to you new beauty, new emotions,
It brings to you new safety, new delight.
Do not reflect, ask for a ten-day portion,
Make this a day of Pepsodent!

Film on your teeth ferments and forms acid,
That vicious film that clings to teeth.
Use Pepsodent, the dentists all advise it,
And watch its wondrous natural effect.

See how your teeth become so white, so shiny,
See how your mouth enjoys a new delight!
Make this a day - you never will forget it -
Ask for this test: the test of Pepsodent!

Researcher for this text: Emily Ezust [Administrator]

4. Utica Sheets and Pillowcases
 (Sung text)

Language: English 
So soft, so smooth, so snowy-white.
Utica sheets and pillowcases.
Spread them upon the bed
And see! There isn't even a wrinkle!
Launder them and you will feel
How strong is their fabric!
Enjoy this sturdy quality.
Whiteness, reliability.
And sleep and dream in comfort and in peace.
So soft, so smooth, so snowy-white.
These linens from Utica.

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  • by Anonymous / Unidentified Author

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Researcher for this text: Emily Ezust [Administrator]

5. Vauv Nose Powder  [sung text not yet checked]

Language: English 
No more shiny nose, no more shiny nose -
Something to keep your nose from getting shiny;
Something to rid you of this oiliness on skin;
No more shiny nose, no more shiny nose!

"Vauv" is the name of our new magic powder,
Spelt V-A-U-V, pronounced Vov.
Vauv is on sale in ev'ry good drug store;
Vauv keeps the shine off, and the powder on.

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  • by Anonymous / Unidentified Author

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Researcher for this text: Emily Ezust [Administrator]
Total word count: 296