Willie Wastle dwalls on Tweed,
  The spot they ca' it Linkumdoddie;
A creeshie wabster till his trade,
  Can steal a clue wi' ony body:
He has a wife that 's dour and din,
  Tinkler Madgie was her mither;
Sic a wife as Willie's wife,
  I wadna gie a button for her. -

She has an e'e, she has but ane,
  Our cat has twa, the very colour;
Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
  A clapper-tongue wad deave a miller:
A whiskin beard about her mou,
  Her nose and chin they threaten ither;
Sic a wife as Willie's wife,
  I wadna gie a button for her. -

She 's bow-hough'd, she 's hem-shin'd,
  Ae limpin leg a hand-bread shorter;
She 's twisted right, she 's twisted left,
  To balance fair in ilka quarter:
She has a hump upon her breast,
  The twin o' that upon her shoulder;
Sic a wife as Willie's wife,
  I wadna gie a button for her. -

Auld baudrans by the ingle sits,
  And wi' her loof her face a washin;
But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,
  She dights her grunzie wi' a hushian:
Her waly nieves like midden-creels,
  Her feet wad fyle the Logan-water;
Sic a wife as Willie's wife,
  I wadna gie a button for her. -