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by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The Akond of Swat
Language: English 
Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT?
Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair,
                                     or SQUAT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?


Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
Does he drink his soup and his coffe cold,
                                     or HOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk
                                     or TROT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,
                                     or COT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does he cross his T's and finish his I's
                                     with a DOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Can he write a letter concisely clear
Without a speck or a smudge or smear
                                     or BLOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Do his people like him extremely well?
Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,
                                     or PLOT,
                                     At the Akond of Swat?

If he catches them then, either old or young,
Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,
                                     or shot,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
Or even at times, when days are dark,
                                     GAROTTE?
                                     O the Akond of Swat!

Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
Or doesn't he care for public opinion
                                     a JOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

To amuse his mind do his people show him
Pictures, or any one's last new poem,
                                     or WHAT,
                                     For the Akond of Swat?

At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
Do they bring him only a few small cakes,
                                     or a LOT,
                                     For the Akond of Swat?

Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,
                                     or a DOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,
                                     SHALLOTT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
Is his stewart a Swiss or a Swede or Russ,
                                     or a SCOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does like to sit by the calm blue wave?
Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,
                                     or a GROTT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?
                                     or a POT.
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe,
                                     or ROT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
And tie it neat in a bow with ends,
                                     or a KNOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,
                                     or NOT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
Does he sail about on an inland lake
                                     in a YACHT,
                                     The Akond of Swat?

Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
Who or which or why or what 
                                     Is the Akond of Swat!

Text Authorship:

  • by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888), "The Akond of Swat", appears in Laughable Lyrics, first published 1877 [author's text checked 1 time against a primary source]

Musical settings (art songs, Lieder, mélodies, (etc.), choral pieces, and other vocal works set to this text), listed by composer (not necessarily exhaustive):

  • by Robert Juan René Gerhard Ottenwaelder (1896 - 1970), as Roberto Gerhard, "The Akond of Swat", published 1975, first performed 1956 [ mezzo-soprano and 2 percussion ] [sung text not yet checked]
  • by Edwin Roxburgh (b. 1937), "The Akond of Swat", published 1972 [ narrator and orchestra ], from How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear, no. 7 [sung text not yet checked]
  • by Walter Skolnik (b. 1934), "The Akond of Swat", published 1968 [ SATB chorus a cappella ], from Three Nonsense Songs of Edward Lear [sung text not yet checked]
  • by Virgil Garnett Thomson (1896 - 1989), "The Akond of Swat", published 1975 [ bass, SATB chorus, and piano ], from Cantata on Poems of Edward Lear [sung text not yet checked]

Researcher for this text: Emily Ezust [Administrator]

This text was added to the website: 2009-03-05
Line count: 88
Word count: 544

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