Where did you come from?
Life was so humdrum
Until you arrived,
Impossibly handsome.
With impeccable taste
You laid me to waste.
Without having laid me
You totally made me
By being so chaste.

I knew from the first
That you were a winner.
You paid for the dinner
And said I looked thinner
Than when we first met.
How much better can it get?
Well, there’s one thing
You seem to forget.

I’m rather embarrassed,
But let me be plain.
I feel like Tarzan,
So stop being Jane.
Do I need to find Cheetah
And have him explain
What the Laws of the Jungle
So clearly ordain?

So take off that shirt. You
Proved you’ve got virtue.
You’re a regular saint.
I don’t want to hurt you,
But I’m going to kick your
Gorgeous behind.
A good guy like you

No, I don’t want to hurt you,
But let me alert you
That a really good man
Is annoying to find