Circle of Light

Put out my eyes, I still can see you
 . . . . . . . . . .

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I throw my life like a stone into the Infinite, 
and it ripples out, over and over again, in ever-widening circles. 
I may not live to close the last of them, 
but I want to try. 
I am the satellite of the ancient arm 
that thrusts the hand of God into the air. 
Round the outstretched palm of the Divine I wheel, 
a thousand years gone, a thousand more in front of me, 
and as I turn I wonder: 
am I a bird of prey? am I a summer storm? 
am I a full-throated song?

You, darkness, who birthed me
 . . . . . . . . . .

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I believe in all the silent words
 . . . . . . . . . .

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You only have to be able to do one thing: 
fall, and be gentle with your heaviness. 
Even birds have to test their weight 
against the gravity of the earth 
as they learn to fly.

Wings! I’m coming home 
from the euphoria of having wings! 
I lost myself in singing. 
I myself became the song, 
and the rhymes of the Universe rang in my head like bells. 
Now I’m myself again, small and simple, 
and I don’t have any more words. 
To the others, watching, I was like the wind, 
pushing them and shaking them, 
spiraling up beyond sight, 
where it’s high enough to melt the light to nothing. 
I’m back now, just me, resting in darkness, without my song. 
But I’m not alone there.

We’re spoken to as we are made, 
then walked out silently into the light. 
What are the words, cloudy and primordial, 
hazy and half-remembered, 
dug from the murky ooze of our beginnings? 
Go, says the Voice. 
Go beyond the reach of your senses. 
Go to the edge of your longing. 
Make seen the Unseen, make known the Unknown. 
Be the flame that casts a shadow 
big enough to build a life in. 
Let everything happen to you, good and bad. 
You just have to do it. 
No feeling is closest, and none is the farthest away. 
I’m here; there’s no way you can lose me. 
That place is called Life, right over there. 
It’s waiting for you. 
You’ll know when you see it, 
and everything starts to happen for real. 
Give me your hand.