by John Clare (1793 - 1864)
I am: yet what I am none cares or knows
Language: English
I am: yet what I am none cares or knows, My friends forsake me like a memory lost; I am the self-consumer of my woes, They rise and vanish [in]1 oblivious host, [Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost]2; And yet I am, [and live with shadows tossed]3 Into the nothingness of scorn and noise, Into the living sea of waking [dreams]4, Where there is neither sense of life nor joys, [But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems; And e'en the dearest - that I loved the best -]5 Are strange - nay, [rather]6 stranger than the rest. I long for scenes where man has never trod, A place where woman never smiled or wept; There to abide with my Creator, God, And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept: [Untroubling and untroubled where I lie]7, - The grass below - above the vaulted sky.
About the headline (FAQ)
View original text (without footnotes)1 Muhly: "an"
2 Muhly: "Shadows of life, whose very soul is lost"
3 Muhly: "- I live - though I am toss'd"
4 Muhly: "dream"
5 Muhly: "But the huge shipwreck of my own extreme and all that's dear./ Even those I loved the best"
6 Muhly: "they are"
7 Muhly: "Full of high thoughts, unborn. So let me lie"
Text Authorship:
- by John Clare (1793 - 1864), "I am", appears in The Life of John Clare, first published 1865 [author's text checked 1 time against a primary source]
Musical settings (art songs, Lieder, mélodies, (etc.), choral pieces, and other vocal works set to this text), listed by composer (not necessarily exhaustive):
- by Trevor Hold (1939 - 2004), "I am", 1964, first performed 1968 [ tenor and instrumental ensemble ], from For John Clare [sung text not yet checked]
- by Thomas Mirante (b. 1931), "I am", published 1969 [ SATB chorus and piano ] [sung text not yet checked]
- by Nico Muhly (b. 1981), "I am: yet what I am none cares or knows", 2016, first performed 2017 [ voice and piano ], from Strange Productions, no. 4, confirmed with a concert programme booklet [sung text checked 1 time]
- by Kurt George Roger (1895 - 1966), "Elegy", 1946, first performed 1950 [ baritone and piano ], from Three English Poems [sung text not yet checked]
- by David Evan Thomas (b. 1958), "I am", 1990, first performed 1993 [ baritone, piano ], from Heard in a Violent Ward, no. 6 [sung text not yet checked]
- by Ian Venables (b. 1955), "I am", op. 31 no. 4 (1997) [ tenor and string quartet ], from Invite to Eternity, no. 4 [sung text not yet checked]
Settings in other languages, adaptations, or excerpts:
- Also set in German (Deutsch), a translation by Bertram Kottmann , "Ich bin", copyright © 2013, (re)printed on this website with kind permission ; composed by Gary Bachlund.
Research team for this page: Emily Ezust [Administrator] , Malcolm Wren [Guest Editor]
This text was added to the website: 2005-12-19
Line count: 18
Word count: 152