by Semyon Yakovlevich Nadson (1862 - 1887)
Ya ne shhadil sebya: muchitel`ny'm somnen`yam
Language: Russian (Русский)
Ya ne shhadil sebya: muchitel`ny'm somnen`yam YA sam navstrechu shel, sam v dushu ix prizval… YA govoril «prosti» vsem svetly'm ubezhden`yam, Vse luchshie mechty' s proklyat`em pogrebal. Zhit` v mire prizrakov, zhit` grezami i snami, Bez dumy' ply't` tuda, kuda neset priliv, Bespechno likovat` s rabami i glupczami – Net, ya by'l slishkom gord, i chesten, i pravdiv. I bogi padali, i prezhnie svetila Teryali navsegda siyan`e i teplo, I noch` vokrug menya sdvigalas`, kak mogila, Otravoj zhguchix dum obveyav mne chelo, – I skorbno ya glyadel potuxshimi ochami, Kak zhizn`, eshhe vchera siyavshaya krasoj, Zhizn` – e`tot py'shny'j sad, pestreyushhij czvetami, – Nagoj pusty'neyu lezhala predo mnoj!.. No pervy'j vixr` zatix, zamolknul v otdalen`i Gluxoj raskat gromov – i ozhil ya opyat`: YA stal sbirat` vokrug oblomki ot krushen`ya I na razvalinax tvorit` i sozidat`. Iz ucelevshix grez, nadezhd i upovanij YA sozdal novy'j mir, vozdvignul novy'j xram I, otdoxnuv dushoj ot bur` i ispy'tanij, Vnov` stal molit`sya v nem i zhech` moj fimiam!.. I v tyagostnoj groze, proshedshej nado mnoyu, YA vy'sshij smy'sl postig – ona mne pomogla, Ochistiv dushu mne stradan`em i bor`boyu, Svet otlichit` ot mgly' i perly' ot stekla. «Vpered zhe! – dumal ya, – pust` staraya trevoga V tvoej grudi, boecz, zagloxnet i zamret, Ty' zakalil sebya, ty' istinnogo boga Prozrel v ugryumoj mgle – ne medli zh, i vpered!» Naprasnaya mechta!.. Uxodyat dni za dnyami, I kazhdy'j novy'j den`, otmechenny'j bor`boj, S bessil`ny'm uzhasom, s bezumny'mi slezami, Raskaty' novy'x groz ya sly'shu nad soboj! Svyatilishhe dushi porugano… somnen`ya Vnesli uzh i v nego mertvyashhij svoj razlad I v moj svyashhenny'j gimn, v smirenny'j gimn molen`ya, Koshhunstvenny'x rechej vlivayut tajny'j yad!.. Otverstoj bezdne zla, ziyayushhej mne v ochi, Ni dna net, ni granicz – i na ee krayu, Okutan dushnoj mgloj nevy'nosimoj nochi, Bessil`ny'j, kak ditya, v razdum`e ya stoyu: Chto znachu ya, pigmej, so vsej moej lyubov`yu, I razumom moim, i volej, i dushoj, Pred l`yushhejsya veka stradal`cheskoyu krov`yu, Pred vechny'm zlom lyudskim i vechnoyu vrazhdoj?!
V. Aloiz sets stanza 1
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Authorship:
- by Semyon Yakovlevich Nadson (1862 - 1887), no title, written 1883 [author's text checked 1 time against a primary source]
Musical settings (art songs, Lieder, mélodies, (etc.), choral pieces, and other vocal works set to this text), listed by composer (not necessarily exhaustive):
- by Vladislav Frantsevich Aloiz (1860 - c1917), "Я не щадил себя", op. 43 no. 7, stanza 1 [sung text checked 1 time]
- by Vladimir Ivanovich Rebikov (1866 - 1920), "Я не щадил себя" [sung text not yet checked]
Researcher for this page: Johann Winkler
This text was added to the website: 2020-12-02
Line count: 48
Word count: 333